The Search for Something to do
by Alphadude007
Summary: Boredom strikes Equestria! How will our heroes be able to solve this crisis? Will Celestia do anything about it? Will Twilight being a princess change anything? Will Spike ever get off pot? Will Rainbow Dash ever get her porn back? Find out in the epic tale of The Search for Something to do!
1. Chapter 1

**The Search for Something to do**

**Chapter 1**

"What to do, what to do…" Rainbow Dash pondered as she lay on her bed. She stared up at the ceiling, hoping some sort of amazing idea of what to do would pop into her head. But nothing came. She got up and trudged to her computer in the corner of her room.

"Fuck it. I guess I'm gonna be using you again." She said, typing in the password to access her computer.

Her computer's fan began whirring as the machine came to life. The desktop faded in, revealing a Wonderbolts logo_. Same dull shit as always_. She thought as she looked at the logo. Suddenly, she remembered something. _I wonder how my fanfic is doing._ The cyan pegasus thought as she brought up Ponysoft Explorer. She typed in the fanfiction's site and loaded her profile. "Oh man this is gonna be awesome! I can see how many followers my story has already." Rainbow said, her hoof finding the mouse and clicking on her story.

"Four reviews? What the hell?" Rainbow asked, surprised that her story had such a low number of reviews. She then looked at the number of follows and favorites.

"No followers or favorites! What the fuck do these ponies want?" She asked, hitting the cloud table her computer was on. Unfortunately for her, the cloud dissipated as soon as she hit it. The computer fell through the clouds towards the ground below her house.

"Oh shit!" She shouted, taking off after the computer, but she was too late. The computer smashed onto the ground, braking into pieces. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Rainbow yelled as she landed near the remains of her computer. _All of it's gone._ She thought. _My stories, my games, my porn. All of it gone_. She thought, holding her head in her hooves. She'd miss all of it. Especially the porn.

"How am I going to pass the day now?" she thought. She tried thinking of something, but her mind went blank as the nyan cat video began to play in her head. "Dammit, Fluttershy!" She shouted. After Fluttershy showed her the video of a pop-tart cat with a rainbow coming out of its ass, Dash couldn't get it out of her head. _Wait a minute… Fluttershy!_ She thought as she flew to her shy friend's cottage.

_I wonder what she's up to. Hopefully we can do something to pass the time._ Rainbow thought as she neared the bashful pegasus's cottage. The yard and creek outside her house was filled with little critters. Otters, bunnies, birds, and many other animals were outside. Some were frolicking in the grass while others swam in the small creek.

_Aw that's cute._ Rainbow thought as she became distracted the animals. She looked to her left to see two little bunnies coming close to each other. _Wait… are those two rabbits-? Oh._ The multi-colored maned mare's eyes widened as the phrase "fuck like rabbits" came to mind.

"Okay I'm done here." She said, turning away from the fucking bunnies and approached Fluttershy's house. She was just about to knock when she heard a voice inside.

"So do you like what you see?" a quiet voice said from inside the house.

"Ah sure am. You like what you're seein'?" a low male voice responded. Rainbow's ears perked up at this. _Fluttershy was getting some?_

"Oh yes. Those nuts are so big." Fluttershy said.

Rainbow's wings instinctively extended at hearing this. _Holy crap!_ Rainbow thought. _Fluttershy is getting laid by Big Macintosh? Wow. That's a pretty good score for her._ She thought as her imagination began to take over. Her thought of what it would be like to have a stallion like Big Mac. _He's strong, loyal, and so big…_ Rainbow's mind wandered as she thought of new possibilities. Soon, imagination wasn't enough.

_Okay, I need to see this for myself!_ She thought, flying up to Fluttershy's bedroom window. She peered inside, hoping to see some action.

"You like my pussy, Big Mac?" Fluttershy said as Rainbow neared the window. She couldn't see anything yet, but loved what she was hearing.

"Eeyup. You like these nuts, Fluttershy?" Big Mac responded. Rainbow's curiosity was driving her insane. She flew up to the window and looked through it. What she saw surprised her.

Fluttershy was in front of her computer, holding up a small orange tabby. Rainbow also saw Big Macintosh on the computer holding a bucket of acorns. _What the fuck? _Rainbow thought as she continued watching.

Fluttershy nodded. "Yes I do. They'll be wonderful for my little squirrels. Are you sure having a cat with Winona is a good idea?" she asked, holding up the kitten to the monitor.

"Ah'm sure they'll be fine. When can we swap?" Big Mac asked, setting down the bucket. Rainbow's facial expression became incredulous as she realized what was going on.

_They're using their webcams to talk business? But what was with the dirty talk? _Rainbow asked herself, her head spinning in confusion. She lowered her head in disappointment and flew back to her cloud house. _Oh well. Hopefully I'll find something to do._

Back in Fluttershy's cottage

"Tomorrow afternoon in the market sounds good to me. Is that okay with you?" Fluttershy asked, putting the cat down on the floor.

"Sounds mighty fine to me. I'll see y'all then." Big Macintosh responded from his bedroom computer.

"Great. I'll see you then." Fluttershy said. She was just about to turn off the webcam when Big Mac spoke up.

"Um, Fluttershy… I'm free tomorrow evening. Maybe we can swap and go somewhere afterwards." He said in a suggestive tone as he wiggled his eyebrows.

Fluttershy's eyelids lowered and smiled. "Oh you greedy bastard. Okay. We'll go back to my place after the swap." She said in a sultry voice.

Big Mac grinned. "Alright. Ah'll see y'all tomorrow." He said, turning off his webcam.

Fluttershy turned hers off and looked outside. _I wonder what my other friends are doing. Maybe I can go see Rainbow. She's always doing something._


	2. Chapter 2

**The Search for Something to do**

**Chapter 2**

"Spike! Get off your lazy ass and help me send a message to the Princess!" The lavender unicorn named Twilight Sparkle shouted at her dragon assistant from downstairs.

"Take it easy, Twilight. I'll get to it once I'm done with this." Spike said groggily, holding a joint between his fingers as he lay in his basket bed.

Twilight stormed up the stairs to see him. "Holy fuck, Spike! This is worse than when you discovered porn."

-Flashback-

Twilight knocked on the door to the library's tech room. "Spike? Are you in there?"

"Um… Yeah. Hang on, Twilight. I'm just uh… researching. I'll be out in about five minutes." Spike's voice came from the other side.

Twilight's ears perked. "Ooh. Researching what? I'll bet I can help." Twilight said, raising her hoof to open the door.  
"It's uh… a personal study topic, Twilight. I don't need your help with this." Spike said.

Twilight furrowed her eyebrows. Something wasn't right. How could somepony be studying and not allow her to help? Twilight looked at the bottom of the door to see a light coming from inside the room. _Whatever he's studying, I have to help him with it._ She thought as a determined look found its way onto her face.

"Oh. Okay. Anyway I have some work for you to do once you're done." Twilight said, slowly turning the door handle so that Spike wouldn't hear it. With a _click_ from the door, Twilight burst the door open.

"I'm helping you Spike, whether you like it or- WHAT THE FUCK?!" Twilight shouted as she saw what Spike was doing. Spike stared at her wide-eyed trying to cover his erect dick, but failing rather badly.

"CELESTIA DAMMIT, TWILIGHT! CAN'T A DRAGON HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIVACY AROUND HERE?!" Spike shouted back as he became distracted from the rule 34 on the computer screen.

Twilight looked at her assistant with a flabbergasted look on her face. "How did-? When did you-?" She sputtered, recovering from the shock of seeing her assistant fapping. She sighed and composed herself as best as she could. "Look. Just finish up here and help me with some work." She said, closing the door.

Spike looked at the porn on the computer screen. "Well there's no way I'm finishing now." He thought, turning off the computer.

-End Flashback -

"Hey, you were invading my privacy, Twilight. You should know better than to poke your nose into other people's business." Spike said in a casual tone. Twilight looked into his reddened eyes. The green of his irises were contrasted by the redness of his eyes, almost making him look evil.

"Well you should know better than to do something private in a public place." Twilight retorted, stomping down the stairs.

"And you should know better than to be such a bitch." Spike whispered.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Twilight shouted from downstairs.

"Nothing!" Spike instantly shouted back, finishing off the joint with a puff. He flicked the used joint out the bedroom window and trudged downstairs. "So what was it you needed, Twilight? I'm not sure I can due to my condition." he asked with drooped eyes.

"Well you can do this even while high as fuck, Spike." Twilight said, her horn glowing a purple aura. A quill and parchment levitated over to her assistant. "I need you to take a note for the Princess."

"Which princess?" Spike asked.

Twilight gave an irritated look. "Princess Celestia, Spike."

"What about Princess Celestia?"

"I want you to write a letter to her." Twilight said, the irritation in her voice becoming more obvious.

"Why would I do that?" Spike asked with a grin on his face.

Twilight was fuming at this point. "BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU WON'T GO TO SLEEP TONIGHT WITH YOUR DICK STILL ON!" She shouted. Spike's eyes widened.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh. Just a joke." Spike said, readying the quill to write.

"Good. Now write this down." Twilight said, clearing her throat. "Dear Princess Celestia, my findings on the magic of friendship have led me to find that while friends may not be perfect, there is always room for forgiveness, despite how much of an asshole they can be sometimes." Twilight said, glaring at Spike. Spike rolled his eyes as he continued writing. "Your fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle." Twilight said, concluding her speech.

"Okay. It's all set." Spike said, rolling up the parchment into a scroll.

"Good. Send it." Twilight said. Upon command, Spike blew a burst of green fire, disintegrating the scroll. The fire billowed out the window and flew to Canterlot, carrying the message with it.

At Canterlot

Princess Celestia sat happily on her throne. It was a peaceful time in Equestria. A new princess had been crowned, all the enemies of her kingdom were either gone or in hiding, and all her subjects were happy with her rule. She sighed in peace.

Just then, the door at the far end of the throne room burst open as a grey pony with a white beard carrying a brown saddlebag began running towards the Princess.  
_Silver Shoe the Swift? What's he doing here?_ The sun goddess pondered as the old pony approached her.

"Your majesty, Discord and his minions have seized the city of Manehattan!" Silver Shoe said in a frail voice.

Celestia put a hoof to her chin. "Hmm. How can we help?"

Silver Shoe took out a scroll from his pack. "It is written: Only the Elements of Harmony can defeat Discord." He said, pointing to the markings on the parchment.

Celestia was about to say something, but she heard a bell ring from behind her. She looked to see one particular bell was being rung.

"I wonder what's for dinner." She said, getting off her throne and began walking to the dining hall. She approached the door, but was stopped by a green fire that shot through one of the windows and settled in front of her. _A message from Twilight?_ She thought, as her horn glowed yellow, opening the scroll with her magic. She looked at what was written: This.

"I don't get it." Celestia said as she cast aside the parchment and entered the dining hall.


End file.
